People are complex. People have weaknesses. People are idiots about certain things. Me. Steve. You. Your friends, lovers, parents. That’s being human. Memoir demands deep character development because the reader knows you will tilt your story toward your own bias’. By the very nature of the form, you lack a certain credibility.
Oh my. Not yours, ours. That's in every respect quite a punchline. I can only imagine the frustration and feeling of hopelessness. I really think that is the perfect time to throw oneself on the tile floor, kick and scream, "No fair, no fair, no fair." And then do exactly what the grown-up Jennifer did, create a welcoming place of work and wisdom for other writers. Cheers to taking our time, doing the work, and saying what we need to say.
"It's not your book, its ours." Oof. That must have been rough. I would have felt like I just sold off my child. So I guess the take away here is to simply take your time? Ensure your baby is ready to stand on its own, etc. Personally, I find impatience to be the hardest part of writing but, this is a good reminder.
And in regards to character. I'm glad to know I'm not crazy. I recently revisited my antagonistic force and realized he felt flat. Then I realized I didn't yet love him. I couldn't see his pain as sharply as I could see mine (*cough*, sorry, I mean the "protagonists." But, who am I kidding? I'm basically writing a memoir disguised as a novel.) It complicates and slows down the process to find love for everyone you write about but I guess, in that way, writing is the ultimate meditation. No wonder it takes forever. Staying present and finding love for those who are seemingly unlovable are both (at least for me) fleeting experiences.
Well ... this is a great post and really hits home for me. I have been working on developing my characters and your tips will be most helpful.
Also, your post brings me to a question that is seriously distracting me right now, as I read about your first memoir 'agent/publishing' experience. The 'buzz building' included lawyers, among others and I'm wondering if they discussed with you the possibility of backlash from others who did not 'remember' the same as you, or like what you wrote about them, and what advice they had for you.
I recently read an article about how we can be sued by people we write about in our memoirs. I for one, have a cast of characters that include wife beater, kleptomaniac, and sex addict. I have cleverly (I think) given them names that are not really names, but rather character identifying 'monikers', but of course they are identifiable to any who know me, or them.
After reading the article ... I have settled into a funk, (actually stopped writing, only processing) thinking I can't possibly publish my memoir because I could certainly be sued!
I'd love to hear your thoughts/comments. And thanks again for your major contribution to our memoir learnings.
Oh my. Not yours, ours. That's in every respect quite a punchline. I can only imagine the frustration and feeling of hopelessness. I really think that is the perfect time to throw oneself on the tile floor, kick and scream, "No fair, no fair, no fair." And then do exactly what the grown-up Jennifer did, create a welcoming place of work and wisdom for other writers. Cheers to taking our time, doing the work, and saying what we need to say.
And here we are...learning and growing.
"It's not your book, its ours." Oof. That must have been rough. I would have felt like I just sold off my child. So I guess the take away here is to simply take your time? Ensure your baby is ready to stand on its own, etc. Personally, I find impatience to be the hardest part of writing but, this is a good reminder.
And in regards to character. I'm glad to know I'm not crazy. I recently revisited my antagonistic force and realized he felt flat. Then I realized I didn't yet love him. I couldn't see his pain as sharply as I could see mine (*cough*, sorry, I mean the "protagonists." But, who am I kidding? I'm basically writing a memoir disguised as a novel.) It complicates and slows down the process to find love for everyone you write about but I guess, in that way, writing is the ultimate meditation. No wonder it takes forever. Staying present and finding love for those who are seemingly unlovable are both (at least for me) fleeting experiences.
Laurel and Skylark: I'm going to create a full-on post on this! Look for it on Thurs, and huge thanks to you guys for speaking up. You rock!
Well ... this is a great post and really hits home for me. I have been working on developing my characters and your tips will be most helpful.
Also, your post brings me to a question that is seriously distracting me right now, as I read about your first memoir 'agent/publishing' experience. The 'buzz building' included lawyers, among others and I'm wondering if they discussed with you the possibility of backlash from others who did not 'remember' the same as you, or like what you wrote about them, and what advice they had for you.
I recently read an article about how we can be sued by people we write about in our memoirs. I for one, have a cast of characters that include wife beater, kleptomaniac, and sex addict. I have cleverly (I think) given them names that are not really names, but rather character identifying 'monikers', but of course they are identifiable to any who know me, or them.
After reading the article ... I have settled into a funk, (actually stopped writing, only processing) thinking I can't possibly publish my memoir because I could certainly be sued!
I'd love to hear your thoughts/comments. And thanks again for your major contribution to our memoir learnings.