On the transformative power of memoir writing. An Open Mic Prompt 🎙️ and Behind the Scenes post on a ten year devotion to vision, an intimate look at process, and how one writer, Becky Ellis, the author of Little Avalanches, told two life stories in one concise memoir.
From Becky: “The journey is long and it’s important to celebrate wins, no matter how big or small. What are some of your biggest triumphs in writing thus far?”
Becky, First, Congratulations! on your book launch. Your memoir sounds beautifully written. I look forward to reading it.
Like yours, my triumph was a 10-year journey. I had a story I needed to tell. I joined a writing group where I learned about craft. There were only a few things I knew about my mother: she was a rodeo performer and earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology in 1931. She was most likely a closeted lesbian since we mostly lived with her woman companion. She did not divulge anything to me about my father, and died when I was nine, leaving me with no known relatives. I had a few documents and a scrapbook of her college days that I kept as my childhood treasures. I put these bits together and wrote a novel inspired by her life. The triumph of writing her story is that I finally understood, through my research of being lesbian in the 1930s and 40s, how few choices she had. I am a great believer in the healing power of story. When the talking stick was passed to me, I told the story of a mother I hardly knew and found healing in the process. Quite a triumph.
What a story to discover, experience, and feel on the deep levels that writing takes us. AND to publish! That is a triumph of many kinds. Congratulations!
I'm in awe of your perseverance, Becky! Ten years is quite a commitment and I can only imagine what that decade taught you because, in my experience, writing is a wily teacher. You think you're just writing a book (which, for some reason, sounds easy) and then it turns out that writing is 80% doing battle with yourself, 20% actual writing.
My little writing victories:
-Sought coaching immediately thus saving me from years of bad habits (thank you Jennifer!)
-Finished 1/2 of a first draft, realized the idea was crap, tossed it, and started over
-Learned how to write a scene
-Finished another 1st draft of a different book (the ones I'm now working on)
-Am close to finishing my second draft (and am looking forward to staring my third)
And perhaps the thing I'm the proudest of:
Within the last few months, I seemed to have surrendered to the fact that writing is a marathon and my book will be done when it's done. Until then, I'm just enjoying the ride. And honestly, I am hella lucky to have the time and mental space to write everyday.
So many triumphs, Skylark! BRAVO!! Thank you for sharing all of them. The marathon is real and we must stop for water along the way ... celebrating the wins feels like hydration to me.
My biggest triumph so far is letting go of my idea of what writing and a writing life “should be” and just simply living it. I stopped wishing for something I wanted to be and just started doing it. It’s marked a huge shift in how I view myself as a creative. I’ve let go of any expectation and I am instead focused on getting to know who I am as a writer and what my perspective is.
Becky...I am moved by what you have shared with us. I'm envious that, in spite of the pain, you had the fortitude to get to know your father and when you had to say goodbye, you felt complete with him. I didn't have that chance. My father, also in WWII, had a debilitating stroke when he was 68. He never spoke again. I have found papers of his that are fascinating reading and oh how I wish, I could have had the opportunity to talk with him about all that. But it is what it is.
I did publish a memoir in 2020 which is a huge victory. As a teenager and young woman, I was never able to finish anything. And now I'm working on a second, studying with Jennifer in Blackbird Studio and you have given me an idea for one of my chapter/essays.
I am lucky enough to have an ARC of your book. I'm looking forward to reading it and so glad I have this as a preface to the book.
Publishing your memoir is a HUGE victory indeed! Well done! Working with Jennifer now will surely open your second memoir to a multitude of possibilities.
I'm sorry to hear about your father. The number of stories I am hearing about children of veterans is stunning. I knew that vets did not typically speak of their service, but their children have been silent, too - including me. I hope Little Avalanches opens the dialogue and we all feel less alone.
First of all, I am in awe of the fact that you were able to persevere through all that it took to get Little Avalanches written and what a win/reward to have it published. Bravo, congrats, way to go!
When I started writing about my past, I was so full of shame and terrified to write about it while at the same time being driven. I had buried my feelings for so long that I went as far as romanticizing situations and bad players from my past. When I started Blackbird Studio in 2016, I had no idea what a scene was or how to open up and look at the hard truths of my past so that my voice could come through.
My biggest triumph has been sticking with it by staying in the Blackbird Studio, listening to Jennifer's guidance and teaching, reading, studying and most importantly writing through the pain, embarrassment, uncertainty, and fear.
I will not go so far as to say I can write a kick-ass scene but I am definitely a better writer, (One of Jennifer's promises, and yes, we know it does happen when we work with her🤍) My voice is stronger, I no longer romanticize my past, instead I meet with it and learn from it, allowing hard truths to come with a little less fear and judgment.
Becky, I have been writing this thing for eight years, and hopefully in the next two years it will all come together and I can complete my memoir like you did.
Please know your success is so very inspiring. It opens the door and makes real the possibility that it can be done. Thank you for your story and your success.📝💕
What a beautiful note, Kristi. Your voice is strong - I've heard its power on the page. I feel the victory in that day-to-day, week-to-week, year-to-year commitment of sticking with it, especially during the darkest hours of discovering painful truths. Bravo!!!
"“The journey is long and it’s important to celebrate wins, no matter how big or small. What are some of your biggest triumphs in writing thus far?”
I'm late to the comment party here. I am new to Jennifer's workshop group. I think the amount I have learned from Bones, to Scene, and now to the scene workshop has been astounding this past year.
Triumphs I can feel good about even just starting off:
-Joining in. I have thought about taking these courses and really giving this a go for many years now. It takes courage to just go for it, especially when you are not starting with a full idea of a story fleshed out.
- Getting over reading aloud. (I'm still working on this one!) While I have always read to myself, I now read to my husband and we read to the group. I have found this very intimidating, though the reception has been so supportive and wonderful. While I've written a blog before, and I am more less stressed by putting words on a page, I am finding that reading the very same words aloud for people who are quite talented at writing themselves can be very scary!
- Joining Substack. I want to write about this more, including some mental block that are opening up lately, but just being on here is also a triumph. I am mainly lurking right now, trying to understand what sort of things people post. I do intend to increase my writing over the months to come. I think Substack will help me to build the writing habit. I tend to fall into "blog post" mode quite easily, but I am trying to really filter what I choose to post, so things may take longer. I am not in it to build a subscriber list of so many as much as I am here to learn.
I have not met you yet, Becky, but I am very inspired by your story and I look forward to reading your memoir! My Dad passed two years ago and he was a gruff old Marine, so I suspect I will relate to many things you have to say.
From Becky: “The journey is long and it’s important to celebrate wins, no matter how big or small. What are some of your biggest triumphs in writing thus far?”
Please post your story in the chat box.
Becky, First, Congratulations! on your book launch. Your memoir sounds beautifully written. I look forward to reading it.
Like yours, my triumph was a 10-year journey. I had a story I needed to tell. I joined a writing group where I learned about craft. There were only a few things I knew about my mother: she was a rodeo performer and earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology in 1931. She was most likely a closeted lesbian since we mostly lived with her woman companion. She did not divulge anything to me about my father, and died when I was nine, leaving me with no known relatives. I had a few documents and a scrapbook of her college days that I kept as my childhood treasures. I put these bits together and wrote a novel inspired by her life. The triumph of writing her story is that I finally understood, through my research of being lesbian in the 1930s and 40s, how few choices she had. I am a great believer in the healing power of story. When the talking stick was passed to me, I told the story of a mother I hardly knew and found healing in the process. Quite a triumph.
Great share, Lori
What a story to discover, experience, and feel on the deep levels that writing takes us. AND to publish! That is a triumph of many kinds. Congratulations!
I'm in awe of your perseverance, Becky! Ten years is quite a commitment and I can only imagine what that decade taught you because, in my experience, writing is a wily teacher. You think you're just writing a book (which, for some reason, sounds easy) and then it turns out that writing is 80% doing battle with yourself, 20% actual writing.
My little writing victories:
-Sought coaching immediately thus saving me from years of bad habits (thank you Jennifer!)
-Finished 1/2 of a first draft, realized the idea was crap, tossed it, and started over
-Learned how to write a scene
-Finished another 1st draft of a different book (the ones I'm now working on)
-Am close to finishing my second draft (and am looking forward to staring my third)
And perhaps the thing I'm the proudest of:
Within the last few months, I seemed to have surrendered to the fact that writing is a marathon and my book will be done when it's done. Until then, I'm just enjoying the ride. And honestly, I am hella lucky to have the time and mental space to write everyday.
So many triumphs, Skylark! BRAVO!! Thank you for sharing all of them. The marathon is real and we must stop for water along the way ... celebrating the wins feels like hydration to me.
My biggest triumph so far is letting go of my idea of what writing and a writing life “should be” and just simply living it. I stopped wishing for something I wanted to be and just started doing it. It’s marked a huge shift in how I view myself as a creative. I’ve let go of any expectation and I am instead focused on getting to know who I am as a writer and what my perspective is.
Bravo! This is such a huge step. Attachment to outcome can be an obstacle to the creative process. Sounds like you have overcome that!
Becky...I am moved by what you have shared with us. I'm envious that, in spite of the pain, you had the fortitude to get to know your father and when you had to say goodbye, you felt complete with him. I didn't have that chance. My father, also in WWII, had a debilitating stroke when he was 68. He never spoke again. I have found papers of his that are fascinating reading and oh how I wish, I could have had the opportunity to talk with him about all that. But it is what it is.
I did publish a memoir in 2020 which is a huge victory. As a teenager and young woman, I was never able to finish anything. And now I'm working on a second, studying with Jennifer in Blackbird Studio and you have given me an idea for one of my chapter/essays.
I am lucky enough to have an ARC of your book. I'm looking forward to reading it and so glad I have this as a preface to the book.
Publishing your memoir is a HUGE victory indeed! Well done! Working with Jennifer now will surely open your second memoir to a multitude of possibilities.
I'm sorry to hear about your father. The number of stories I am hearing about children of veterans is stunning. I knew that vets did not typically speak of their service, but their children have been silent, too - including me. I hope Little Avalanches opens the dialogue and we all feel less alone.
First of all, I am in awe of the fact that you were able to persevere through all that it took to get Little Avalanches written and what a win/reward to have it published. Bravo, congrats, way to go!
When I started writing about my past, I was so full of shame and terrified to write about it while at the same time being driven. I had buried my feelings for so long that I went as far as romanticizing situations and bad players from my past. When I started Blackbird Studio in 2016, I had no idea what a scene was or how to open up and look at the hard truths of my past so that my voice could come through.
My biggest triumph has been sticking with it by staying in the Blackbird Studio, listening to Jennifer's guidance and teaching, reading, studying and most importantly writing through the pain, embarrassment, uncertainty, and fear.
I will not go so far as to say I can write a kick-ass scene but I am definitely a better writer, (One of Jennifer's promises, and yes, we know it does happen when we work with her🤍) My voice is stronger, I no longer romanticize my past, instead I meet with it and learn from it, allowing hard truths to come with a little less fear and judgment.
Becky, I have been writing this thing for eight years, and hopefully in the next two years it will all come together and I can complete my memoir like you did.
Please know your success is so very inspiring. It opens the door and makes real the possibility that it can be done. Thank you for your story and your success.📝💕
What a beautiful note, Kristi. Your voice is strong - I've heard its power on the page. I feel the victory in that day-to-day, week-to-week, year-to-year commitment of sticking with it, especially during the darkest hours of discovering painful truths. Bravo!!!
"“The journey is long and it’s important to celebrate wins, no matter how big or small. What are some of your biggest triumphs in writing thus far?”
I'm late to the comment party here. I am new to Jennifer's workshop group. I think the amount I have learned from Bones, to Scene, and now to the scene workshop has been astounding this past year.
Triumphs I can feel good about even just starting off:
-Joining in. I have thought about taking these courses and really giving this a go for many years now. It takes courage to just go for it, especially when you are not starting with a full idea of a story fleshed out.
- Getting over reading aloud. (I'm still working on this one!) While I have always read to myself, I now read to my husband and we read to the group. I have found this very intimidating, though the reception has been so supportive and wonderful. While I've written a blog before, and I am more less stressed by putting words on a page, I am finding that reading the very same words aloud for people who are quite talented at writing themselves can be very scary!
- Joining Substack. I want to write about this more, including some mental block that are opening up lately, but just being on here is also a triumph. I am mainly lurking right now, trying to understand what sort of things people post. I do intend to increase my writing over the months to come. I think Substack will help me to build the writing habit. I tend to fall into "blog post" mode quite easily, but I am trying to really filter what I choose to post, so things may take longer. I am not in it to build a subscriber list of so many as much as I am here to learn.
I have not met you yet, Becky, but I am very inspired by your story and I look forward to reading your memoir! My Dad passed two years ago and he was a gruff old Marine, so I suspect I will relate to many things you have to say.
Blessings and all the best on your new book!
Stephanie