From Criticism to Craft: A Writer's Journey Through Workshop

When tough love meets tender breakthroughs

When tough love meets tender breakthroughs. An intimate look at surviving tough workshops while nurturing your authentic voice, featuring the moment everything changed. Plus, practical wisdom about balancing criticism with support, and why breakthrough often comes through fire.

Revised 2/25

Hi and welcome into Flight School:

A year into the process of writing my first memoir, my son Spencer was changing by the day - rolling over, sitting up, teething, crawling, speaking his first words. 'Up. Mama. Up,' he'd say, never happier than when on my hip or in the backpack. He was both miracle and life preserver, keeping me afloat while I navigated the choppy waters of workshop.

We keep showing him the camera but he’s largely too baffled at all our pointing and instructions to smile.

“When are you going to sell that book and make some money?” Steve kept asking (a reasonable question). I earned income from consulting work but more and then more of my time went to writing. He was feeling the pressure of carrying the load alone.

I turned up the fire on my writing and added more time to the schedule in order to do what I had said back when I pitched this idea. Finish!Nap time. Night time. Early in the morning.

Here’s the truth about writing, and about writing about your life. It takes time. A lot of time in some cases. We cannot force a plant to grow and it’s the same with creative writing.

Worse, at my writing class, those red fingernails were coming out in the form of harsh words from Tom that landed like blows: "Where is your heart?" he demanded of one submission. "This reads like it was written by a white, entitled woman with too much money and time on her hands," he said of another. Finally, he tossed an old essay across the table: "Just copy this and put your own words into the form.

This last suggestion was actually a common creative writing exercise: you take a piece of writing you resonate with and type it verbatim. In this process, your own voice naturally emerges and takes over. (You can see this technique in play in the movie Finding Forrester where Sean Connery's Salinger-esque character offers the same lesson to his young protégé.)

The Breakthrough

Taking Tom's advice, I sat holed up in my office, the chatter of keys filling the room. Photos of my adoptive mom scattered across my desk, I forced myself to stay close to the details: the shape of her face, the smell of her perfume, the sound of her voice. I wrote about her peignoirs, how she wore the nightgown under and the overlay garment in matching fabric and color. How she was "bursting with style," with those sharp black eyes and high cheekbones.

Then it happened. In the midst of these details, she burst to life in my imagination: the flick of her wrist, the strike of a match, the flame touching the tip of a... Parliament. She smoked Parliaments! Memory broke through like a wall coming down. I could see the cigarette pack with its upside-down arrow symbol and blue-on-blue logo. I could smell the bite of tobacco. Finally, I was in the child's heart, not just the mind.

By staying intensely close to image and moment, I had found my way in. Half mother-wife-student typing at my desk, half child-daughter lost in memory, I could now write through the slow passage of that childhood. I had found my voice.

The proof in the feedback

In Tom’s classes, the feedback shifted to be supportive and enthusiastic. A fellow writer, Roger Larson, pulled me aside and invited me to join a side group for those working toward publication.

What a kindness.

What a joy.

I joined Larson’s Remedial Writers and Rodger helped ease the sting of Tom’s “jungle red fingernail” strategy. In his group of four writers, it was just good old fashioned kindness.

Taking the Sting out of Workshop:

Everyone is warned that my remarks are likely to be negative, that experience has shown me that my positive remarks aren’t likely to have the same impact, which is too bad, but seems to be the case.

~ On Writing Short Stories, edited by Tom Bailey

Literary teaching is critical and negative. Some teachers take this to an extreme and it tips into abuse.

I’ve heard countless stories from writers about petty cruelty to sexual abuse. It’s always heart breaking but it happens.

The way through is not to suffer a teacher, no matter how good, if you are truly being abused. Tom was often unkind, but never abusive to me. I did my best to keep an eye on the craft and leave the drama behind. I also went into therapy, which is always a good thing. And I worked with Rodger’s group.

The point is, try not to take mean-spiritedness personal. Writers are people and sometimes they lose it like everyone else. I prefer to be generous, especially if I’m learning more than I’m hurting.

Blackbird Done and Dusted

Fifteen months after starting, with Spencer now eighteen months old, I had a finished book to show Steve. “Time to find a literary agent,” I said, pride mixed with determination.

“Great!” Steve said.

A new journey was about to begin.

✍️ Your turn:

Think about your ideal writing support system. What balance of challenge and nurturing do you need? Share your experience with workshops or writing groups - what's worked, what hasn't, and what you're looking for.

~ Jennifer, 🐦‍⬛