Flying Lesson #5 ~ Pt. 1

Exclusive writing lab with FS reader, Laurel. We’ll learn about her project, and I will answer her three overarching questions: 1) about writing chronologically, 2) including a spiritual thread throughout, and 3) how she can best deal with flashbacks. Plus a “your turn” prompt.

Welcome:

When I asked Laurel Anderson to be my first reader on FS to meet and discuss her work (with the caveat that she would allow me to share our talk in a video format here on Flight School), she graciously agreed.

Laurel is a founder member and wins the prize for “the most active” participant 🥇. From day one, Laurel has shown up consistently, commented, asked questions, and shared her insights. She’s “all in,” and together we have shaped up a three-part Flying Lesson on what it is like to work with a teacher, ask big questions, and share your work.

Let’s do this!

Laurel’s Project: For the Love of Monkey

Born illegitimate in the ’50s to uneducated parents, each with children from previous relationships, Laurel was both a blessing and a nuisance. Smart, chatty, and perpetually curious about their blended and extended family, she asked questions her mother had difficulty answering honestly. Laurel's mother chose to color the facts to paint a more palatable picture for her young daughter, but primarily to preserve the family secrets.

With adoring older siblings, a father who cherished and spoiled her, and a loving and affectionate mother, Laurel developed a positive self-image that collided with an early instilled responsibility to remain emotionally inauthentic in moments that might have threatened the faux stability of the complex family dynamic.

Laurel’s embedded belief that the feelings and desires of others superseded her own deepened her already empathic nature, and as a young woman, she found it difficult to extricate herself from a succession of unhealthy and toxic relationships. Amidst the years fraught with trauma and drama, there were many happy times and wonderful experiences. Laurel established a successful career, raised a son, cared for her elderly parents, and nurtured a loving circle of family and friends. With unbelievable grit, Laurel survived molestation, rape, infidelity, domestic violence, financial ruin, profound loss, hard work, and grave danger.

The beginning of Laurel's recovery was the eventual acknowledgment of her worth and a willingness to seek professional and spiritual support. Her most profound healing occurred during a ten-year relationship hiatus, during which she discovered the benefits of psychological counseling, yoga, meditation, and prayer. In time, Laurel was able to uncover and understand the source of her childhood trauma and learn to identify and express her own emotions, wants, needs, and desires.

For the Love of Monkey brings the reader through the dysfunction and trauma, but Laurel’s story is about much more than pain. It is about the journey to compassion, forgiveness, peace, and joy.